Developing Powers Of Persuasion
In his book 'Influence. The Psychology of Persuasion' Robert Cialdini talks about how losing something seems to motivate us more than gaining something. |
Science Of Persuasion.
We lead 'overloaded lives' so many decisions are made by way of shortcuts or rules-of-thumb. Reciprocity / Scarcity / Authority. Consistency / Liking / Consensus. To what extent are we driven to help the people who have help does? How important are the thoughts of others when making the decision? Which motivates as more, the possible loss of something or the thought of something we might gain?
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- Be patient: Don't rush people, it comes across as pushy/desperate.
- Become aware: It is always about the other person and how you and/or your product can help them with a need or want.
- Be yourself, don't flatter: It is almost impossible to fake sincerity and flattery can be seen as lying.
- Be happy: A smile and relaxed personality go a long way to getting people on your side.
More Suggested Videos.
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Power & Influence.
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If You Need Something, Just Ask.
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What's Next?
You will notice on the Suggested Reading page that I have the book Influence 'The Psychology of Persuasion' which is related to the main video. The reason I am attracted to the 'secrets' referred to is that they are great descriptions of the 'soft-skills' I learned very early-on in my working life. Here is my practical take on each 'Universal Shortcut' -
Reciprocity: Time permitting, I try to give free help and advice on any issue/problem facing anyone who asks. I do it without expecting a reward/business/payment. This help extends right up to the point where I am asked to offer a solution or act specifically on behalf of the individual. At that point we enter the realms of what I do for a living and when I work I deserve to be paid. Simply put the What and Why are free, the How costs money. An example I use a lot is the importance of oil in a car engine. People new to car ownership are often not aware of the importance of engine oil. For these people I am happy to explain everything they need to know about engines and oil and how it all works. But if they then want me to tell them how to check or actually do the checking, I explain that I need to charge. I have found that when people feel I have been helpful and knowledgable, they understand the need to pay me fairly for what I do. Somewhere along the line I picked up the idea about not letting people 'pick my pocket'. The basic idea is that if people know that I tell people how to check their oil for a living, why would they expect me to tell them for free?
Scarcity: There are practical limits to the amount of time I can spend giving 'free' advice. I always make it clear that demands on my time are great and how much time I have to give before I have to move on or charge.
Authority: The whole 'in-authority' and 'an-authority' debate is interesting from the point of view of how others view us. If I want to talk finances I will invariably wear a suit and tie, if I am talking sports a track-suit is normal. In both instances I am wearing a uniform to project a certain attitude. From here context is key. In all circumstances I will explain using a short rehearsed script; who I am, what I do, why I do it and who I do it for. 'Pitched' correctly this style of introduction and looking the part goes a long way to instilling confidence.
Liking: Until a prospect feels relaxed they will not do business with you. My rules of engagement are -
Reciprocity: Time permitting, I try to give free help and advice on any issue/problem facing anyone who asks. I do it without expecting a reward/business/payment. This help extends right up to the point where I am asked to offer a solution or act specifically on behalf of the individual. At that point we enter the realms of what I do for a living and when I work I deserve to be paid. Simply put the What and Why are free, the How costs money. An example I use a lot is the importance of oil in a car engine. People new to car ownership are often not aware of the importance of engine oil. For these people I am happy to explain everything they need to know about engines and oil and how it all works. But if they then want me to tell them how to check or actually do the checking, I explain that I need to charge. I have found that when people feel I have been helpful and knowledgable, they understand the need to pay me fairly for what I do. Somewhere along the line I picked up the idea about not letting people 'pick my pocket'. The basic idea is that if people know that I tell people how to check their oil for a living, why would they expect me to tell them for free?
Scarcity: There are practical limits to the amount of time I can spend giving 'free' advice. I always make it clear that demands on my time are great and how much time I have to give before I have to move on or charge.
Authority: The whole 'in-authority' and 'an-authority' debate is interesting from the point of view of how others view us. If I want to talk finances I will invariably wear a suit and tie, if I am talking sports a track-suit is normal. In both instances I am wearing a uniform to project a certain attitude. From here context is key. In all circumstances I will explain using a short rehearsed script; who I am, what I do, why I do it and who I do it for. 'Pitched' correctly this style of introduction and looking the part goes a long way to instilling confidence.
Liking: Until a prospect feels relaxed they will not do business with you. My rules of engagement are -
- Be yourself.
- Find common ground.
- Actively listen to what you are told.
- Smile and employ a relaxed demeanour,
- Don't talk about business until you are sure they are comfortable with you and the reason you are there.
Consistency: I have found that getting a lot of small agreements is a great way to secure a big decision. Often this just needs a slight adjustment in how something is presented. In every presentation I need to get a yes to every point I raise before I move on. For example when I talk about the need for coaches in the workplace I will say why I think coaches are important and then ask the prospect if they agree. If yes then on to the next point, if no then I will not proceed with the presentation until we find something we can agree on. Every yes I get is a stepping stone to a contract, it is harder for someone to say no at the end if they have agreed with everything along the way. Not seeking validation for the points you make simply provides your prospect with credible reasons to say no.
Note: Consensus; I tend to use this throughout my interaction with others. I accept it as a separate issue on the video but see it as part of the whole.